Red Light, Green Light

Waiting at red lights is when I am most aware of the lives of other people. It is not that I just notice other people but I seem to come to this snap consciousness that other people have lives. That sounds utterly ridiculous and so self-centered, but admittedly it is true. Being aware of someone's presence and being aware of his/her life is, I think, all together different. I am not just talking about eye contact when buying groceries or saying thank you to the gas station attendant, I am talking about a real awareness that the people in the cars around me are returning home to a family of five or running late to a doctor's appointment or hoping that their dad will finally call them. Perhaps it is the rolled up window and the view into the compartmentalized space that really emphasis the point. It is the overhearing of conversations taking place without sound. All of us waiting, looking straight forward, or fiddling with the stereo or checking out that thing on our face, aware there are people around us but pretending they're not. It is in this brief moment before the red light that we are all halted in our individual momentum and as I take a look to my left or to my right there is another life if I allow myself to briefly look. In my mind, I see this large maze and all of us cars are crossing over and around and behind and on top of another but never actually intersecting.

In Romania on the hillside, we played a silly version of Red-Light,Green-Light. I gave directions in simple sets as we were playing in another language. I asked, “When driving a car, how does someone know how to stop?.” Right when I finished the question, I laughed at my insensitivity. The kids arrived in wagons. Their village is made up of dirt roads. “When someone or an animal is in the way,” one little boy offered so I changed the question to “In the city when people drive cars...” This got the answer we were looking for. It was understood then for the game that “green” meant run around like crazy and “red” meant stop and freeze. Eventually we were going to play from one side of the hill to the other with one person acting as the light but the children were having so much fun just running around we kept it simple. I added making a silly face or doing a funny pose when a red light happened. It was great fun. It was simple and fun. I obviously don't have that much enjoyment though when I am actually stopped at a red light. Here it wouldn't be appropriate to make a silly face but at least I can acknowledge my neighbor. I am kind of embarrassed to admit how it is a little unnerving for me looking to my left or right. Like I said before, it is here at the intersection that I most aware of my self-centeredness. Maybe I just need to freeze, stick my tongue at myself or the person next to me (or maybe just smiling would do) and when the light turns green continue to run around like crazy. Maybe I can just invite others to do this with me. Simple and fun. Green!